Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
