Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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