White coat. Heels.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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