life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
