If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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