It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
