make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's shark week go big or go home
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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