he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
