i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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