You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
