everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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