Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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