At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
