I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
