Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
this hospital has no fireball
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
