Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Randomize
