Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
