I cockslap morals
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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