They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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