Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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