lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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