dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize