you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
