I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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