GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
