So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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