absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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