i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
