Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
