The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
