I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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