it hurts more in the daytime
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
