i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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