My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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