The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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