your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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