How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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