I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize