Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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