How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
