Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I need to calm my uterus...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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