Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
