cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize