brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
