the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
