I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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