She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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