No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
