Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
