dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
