Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize