Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
