And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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