quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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