ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
