when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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