I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
