Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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