when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
wakey wakey hands off snakey
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
