I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
